The Hans Island Liberation Front

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How you can help the people of Hans Island

The people of Hans Island are working on a new strategy to help their dwindled population and to convince their foreign overlords of their sovereign status.

The current plan is to convince Santa Claus to set up a second workshop, or totally relocate, to Hans Island.

Santa Claus is noted for his neutrality. He is a citizen of no nation and friend to all. By developing him as an ally, and increasing their population through elf-migration, the people of Hans Island hope to improve their standing internationally.

"Maybe we could even go to the UN or something," said Hans. "With just the two of us, we can't really go anywhere, because the Danes and Canucks might raid the place while we're gone. If we had some elves and stuff, we'd never be leaving the island unattended."

You can help!

Please write to Santa Claus, c/o the North Pole, Canada, postcode H0H 0H0, and encourage him to make the move to Hans Island.

Also, please sign the Bring Santa to Hans Island Petition.

There are also number of other ways that you can help the people of Hans Island overcome the current difficulties.

First: write letters. Send an email to Stephen Harper, Prime Minister of Canada, or Anders Fogh Rasmussen, Prime Minister of Denmark, telling them to leave Hans Island to the Hanses who live there. Stephen Harper is a new leader of Canada, so it is especially important to email him, as he might not yet know of our struggles, and he has talked about how he wants to defend "Canada's Artcic." Hello, the Arctic is not all yours, Canada! It belongs to us Hanses too!

Second: if you live in either Canada or Denmark, you can thwart your army's attempt to build inukshuks by preventing them from getting their hands on more rocks. If you have a rock garden in your front yard, you might consider building a small wall, and/or erecting a sign saying "My rocks are for peace - not inukshuks! Stop the war!"

Third: the best way for the people of Hans Island to protect their sovereignty is to increase their population. If you (or someone you know) are female, please consider moving to Hans Island to breed with the Hanses. They will be very appreciative. It is recommended that you dress warmly and bring large amounts of food and a small building with a woodstove if possible.

Show your support by wearing a Hans Island Liberation Front t-shirt or button.

And please sign or visit The Guestbook.

Down with Inukshuks!


contact the Hans Island Liberation Front at